To a New Mom

First of all, you will get advice from every direction: the internet, your mom, your closest 30 friends, your coworkers, maybe even your dog.  You cannot make everyone happy.  Some things will work, others won’t, and some are just plain silly.  Do you wear your baby or use a stroller?  Co-sleep or crib?  Breast feed or formula?  Get up at every squeak or make them cry it out after 4 months?  Cloth diapers or disposable?  These are all things that everyone has an opinion on and they’re more than glad to tell you.  Most decisions regarding your baby are not life or death.  Your baby will eventually sleep through the night and pee in the toilet and be able to read.  So relax, you’ll get it figured out.

But in the spirit of advice giving (like I said, you’ll get it from every direction) I’d just like to share some of my biggest mom “oops” moments, in hopes you can learn from me!

I gave a permanent marker to a 1 year old. Yes. I did that. He had black marks I couldn’t get off his face for more than a week.

I let my naked pre-potty trained baby run around the front yard. He then pooped on the neighbors’ front porch.

I left my phone sitting on the counter in the bathroom.  With a one year old in said bathroom.  And the toilet lid open.  Any guesses as to what happened?  iPhone swim party.

Those bouncy chairs are dangerous!  You have got to buckle babies in…because one minute they’re a slack-necked drooler staring into space, and the next minute they’re a robust, fat, bouncer who bounces out onto their face.

Mouse traps under the refrigerator are within reach of a crawler.

Those little wood and white plastic baby gates are not up to the job.  You need a hard core metal one.

They get teeth.  They bite.  Don’t get your fingers in there.

Lastly, and this is something I did right, if you have a colic baby, a big exercise ball is your best friend.  Hold baby, support her head, and bounce as hard as you can.  Believe me…it’ll put her out.  Of course, you can’t stop bouncing. Ever. But on the bright side, you get a great workout!

Here’s a couple books in case this blog was exactly what you needed:

The new mom’s guide to finding your own mothering style, call number 649.122 WAL

Work. Pump. Repeat: the new mom’s survival guide to breastfeeding and going back to work, call number 649.33 SHO

~Robin P.